Thursday, March 1, 2012

Been a very hard road

It has been so long since I have posted anything.  First it was the holidays and then it was getting ready to go on vacation and before you know it life gets away from you.  I have been trying to find time to sew but just can’t seem to squeeze it in which normally is my sanity.  Mike and I headed out on Jan 31 and flew into Los Angeles which we love and spent 11 days there.

Well for the biggest reason I have not been posting is my daughter, Raychel.  Any of you who have read my blog over the years know she has really battled with trying to stay alive.  She started going down hill last June and slowly it got away from her.  She was so sick during Christmas and at that time we moved her to my Mom’s where I knew that Grandma would fatten her up.  Mike and I left like I said and headed out with my Mom telling me that things were getting better and Raychel guaranteeing us that she was doing better.  Well the truth was she was not getting better she was getting worse.  My son, Justin, went over to see Raychel and he was devastated on what he saw.  He called us and said we needed to get home right away so we did.  We got in on Monday night and finally on Thursday I called 911 when she got to the point where she was not able to left her head off her pillow.  At that point I realized how ill Raychel really was.  I think for a few months in the back of my mind I knew what was happening because I started having moments of crying and it usually was when I was with her or talking about her.  Mike and I were told that Friday that Raychel was dying and they told her on Saturday.  They told us that they personally had never seen a patient so malnourished and even thou she was eating she has gotten to the point that she can not absorb.  Over the years we have been told over and over there is nothing that the doctors could offer her, we had completely lost all faith in the medical profession.  That Thursday when I called 911 I had them take her to our local hospital that she had never been to but that my Mom worked at for 44 years and had retired only 3 years ago at the age of 82.  My Mom is very well known at this hospital but I think they are just a GREAT hospital.  They put a port in her chest and a picc line in to give her TPN (nutrition) and other medications to buy her time.  We know that the TPN will cause her liver to go into liver failure since she has liver disease already and once that starts they will stop the TPN.  We are not even sure that it will help at all and in about 3 weeks we will have an idea if it is and if it’s not they will stop it then.

The love I have for my children is so intense and I’m thankful for that every day.

The reason I am telling this story?  Because this is happening to Raychel because she was so tired of being obese that she decided to have gastric bypass.  They say that 1% of patients that have this surgery will die and that’s 1 out of 100 will face what my daughter is facing.  When anyone goes in and has a procedure done they always tell us the things that COULD happen but as human nature is we always think that will happen to someone else.  Well someone has to be that 1%.  I hope that anyone who is thinking about having gastric bypass or any elective procedures think about it in great depth.  Raychel has told me that she would rather be obese than to be like this.  Does not matter how thin we are or how obese we are, we are not happy with our bodies and that is so sad. 

Please keep my daughter and family in your thoughts.  This is a road that I’m so afraid to go down for the fear that I will not be able to stay as strong for Raychel because this is what she deserves from us as her parents. 


Louise Murphy said...

Dearest Cathy my thoughts are with you as you are facing this challenge. I stumbled upon you blog but felt that I had to leave a message of hope to you. be strong and never give up.

Brandon said...

Praying for you all

Jean said...

I am so sorry she is doing worse again. This has to be so horrible for your family. I am praying for all of you. I hope she grows stronger.

Amy said...

I am praying for you and Raychel.I am so sorry I have not been blogging much, please know any time ya want to e-mail me I am here.hugs to you.